Stuck.

I am at an ultimate frustration point right now. I am going to throw a small pity party for myself, by myself and then take these things and use them as an axe rather than a chain. Here goes...

I am frustrated with...
-My job. Right now I am doing things that I am not completely happy with. As many of you know, I like to be great at the things I do. So when I am not great, I don't really want to do them. Some may call it pride. And they would be right. Commercial insurance is something I do not know as well as personal. I haven't spent as much time doing it and therefore I am not as knowledgeable and in turn, am very intimidated by it. Granted, there is a much bigger financial opportunity in that side of the business, but since I have not reaped the reward of seeing that thus far, I am frustrated with it. Marketing is also not something I am comfortable with. My friends tell me I could carry a conversation with a wall... and I know I can talk to anyone, but marketing or advertising is just not fun for me. Yet. Going from business to business and facing rejection or wasting my time is no fun for me. But I guess work is not always fun.
-Lawton. Lawton is my business partner and used to be my best friend. I feel like I cannot talk to him about certain things anymore. I feel like he gets frustrated with me, as I do with him. Lawton gets to sit in the office all day and write insurance that is placed in his lap, while I have to do things that I am not comfortable with. He mocks my relationship with Jesus and watches my every move to call me out if I stumble or if I don't act Holy. News flash buddy, I am a dirty rotten sinner and I am okay with that... because God is my judge and you, my friend, are not.
-My living situation. This is just impossible for me to elaborate on. But I have some big decisions to make in the next 3 days... and I don't know if I am strong enough to make them and wise enough to make the right ones.
-Myself.
-My walk. Last week I was on fire for Christ. I loved it and lived it and had a great week. This week I am so down and not feeling it. I am not keeping God as my focal point and the center of my life... and I feel so off track. I am living by my will and not going to God... obviously I have things going on and I know God has brought me there for a reason... I just haven't placed it on Him to bring me through it.
So I know what I need to do. I am having a bad attitude and just hovering over these negative feelings and not doing anything about it. Its time for me to take control... or better yet, lose control. Instead of searching for the answers, I have to just give the questions and the frustrations to God. I know He has a plan for my life... and I yearn to fully commit to His WILL... not my own. I want His Will, because I know His will be much better than mine... its just a matter of resting in Him. Its apparent that I know the right answers here. So just do it. A little less talk and a lot more action.

God, I pray that I can rest in your wisdom. I know that you are more powerful than any plan I may have. I pray that your Will be clear and I respond accordingly. Strip me of my pride and change my controlling heart. I pray that I will follow you obediently and seek you in every trial throughout my life. Please lead me to see the lessons you have planned out and follow the course you have called me to live. I know that you have a plan for me, please give me the yearning to follow it. God, above all else, I pray that you bring me to a place that keeps you at the center of my life and that I continually focus on you. Lead me come back to you and see your mercy and grace every time I fail.