Since its been awhile, I figured I would give a brief update on my ever-crazy lifestyle. I decided to move out of Ashby's house as we all were preparing to move the end of April. Since I hate transition periods (anything grey is terrible, I am a black and white girl), I decided to get a move on. I found an adorable 2 bedroom condo to rent, in a great location that is close to everything and has a secluded feel. On my lanai, all I can see is woods. Literally, I cannot see any buildings... its amazing. I am pretty much living in a retirement community. I went downstairs the other day to find oxygen tanks sitting outside the condo below me, being traded out for new ones, I am sure. Joe, the man below me, has emphysema and tells me to "park the heels at the door". Apparently he can hear my stilettos through his ceiling. Sorry Joe. Kevin is always walking around our building. Anytime I go to leave, he pops out of somewhere... or yells at me for not closing the lid on the dumpster (it was open when I put trash in it- I just left it the way I found it- sorry!). (And not really yelling, I am just sensitive.) Peggy calls me Alicia Keys so she can remember my name. She has some blood flow/circulation problems in her legs. She is a sweet lady and wears awesome big sunglasses that I would totally buy. She also walks about 3 steps a minute, so I see her about once a day walking from her car to her condo.
I had a painting party to paint the interior, I got to pick out all the colors and had a great turn out. The place is adorable! I moved all my stuff in the second week of March- but I am still getting settled. I love living alone. I thought I might get lonely, but it is sooo nice.
I am working at Outback in Fort Myers which is going well. I like the people I work with and its great to work with people who I have never gone out and partied with before. So they don't expect me to always go out like I did with the people in Bonita. I am still pretty sensitive to how people talk and the content that talk about in the restaurant business... but I have to remember that God put me there for a reason and I just have to stand firm in Him!
Business is going well. Albeit taking an entire week off to move and celebrate, we are right on track for the month. I am ready to get back to it 100%... and get myself out of depending on anything from a second job. (But I may keep it anyway, for the ministering opportunity and the discount (:) I love what I do, education people, helping them, talking to them and having the freedom to work at 1am or not work till 11am. Its all good.
Everything is great in the fam front. My niece and nephews and just getting so big. Its crazy what they know... they are just a sponge for information. I am loving my sister and Kirt- as usual. Although I wish Kirt and I were closer. I know he is a great guy, but I rarely get to spend time with him because I am either with the kids and my sister, taking my sister away from the kids or with the entire family. I think that our respect for each other is growing... not that we were ever lacking, but it is growing.
My birthday was amazing- as usual! Birthdays are a BIG deal to me... I had a girls dinner on the Saturday before and had like all my best friends (minus Hallie and Ilana) at the same table (which was kind of weird honestly). We went to Bar Louie after and danced all night long. It was a blast. My actual birthday was kinda of frustrating, but turned out fun! We went to Icabods which was out of control, then ate dinner at Outback, went back to Icabods and hung out with some of the coolest moms I know. It ended up being great.
Life is good. God is good. I am so thankful for the people in my life- my family, my friends, my associates... each in their own facet, none like the other. I am thankful for the bird feeder outside my lanai and the beautiful view and the church bells I hear that play songs from The Sound of Music. I am thankful for wine and great conversations with my girlfriends. I am thankful for my apartment. I am thankful for my business. I am thankful for the bible, my salvation and His grace.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Pray expectantly.
As a child, I was taught to not expect anything from anyone else but myself. That I could rely on nothing but my own capabilities (overly independent single mother... and you-can-do-anything-you-put-your-mind-to father). I have always had leadership qualities and an 'I can do it better on my own' attitude- some might call me a control freak. This train of thought really gets in the way when I am trying to depend on the Lord. But as he always does, He teaches me and proves to me how dependent He truly is-and I know He is dependent... I just am so earthly.
So the last week of the month entered in very quickly this past Monday. We get commission from our car insurance companies on the 5th and the homeowner companies on the 15th. So I pay my rent with our car insurance commission and other bills with the homeowners commission (those are my cuts at least). My partner, Lawton (otherwise known as my work husband) cares about and is always thinking of me and my stuff... So he comes to me Monday and says we only have 2 auto policies on the books for this month, there is no way we (hence, he says, we) can pay your rent with that. We really have to target auto this week. I agree with him, however, there are very few people that just get quotes and switch car insurance within a couple days. People switch at renewal unless you save them loads of money, or switch when their next payment is due. Another catch, we have to have the policies bound by the 27th in order to receive the commission by the 5th. So I call and text and facebook market, etc. AND I pray. I pray that God will either help me make a lot of money at my second job or bring my policies in order to pay my bills! I prayed for our company (something I do not do enough of, because I think I got it...) and Lawton....
And now today is Friday, the 27th. By the end of the day, I will have written 5 new policies this week- that alone will beyond cover my rent and utilities. How cool is that!?
Lawton's mother, who happens to be a an amazingly wise Christian woman, someone I look up to and receive MUCH advice from, always tells me to pray expectantly. This is a hard concept for me... but I am learning. The Lord is teaching me.... always teaching me- and I will continue to learn and learn and re-learn and re-learn. I love when God answers my prayers so specifically and I get to share these amazing experiences with my non-believing friends... God is so good.
So the last week of the month entered in very quickly this past Monday. We get commission from our car insurance companies on the 5th and the homeowner companies on the 15th. So I pay my rent with our car insurance commission and other bills with the homeowners commission (those are my cuts at least). My partner, Lawton (otherwise known as my work husband) cares about and is always thinking of me and my stuff... So he comes to me Monday and says we only have 2 auto policies on the books for this month, there is no way we (hence, he says, we) can pay your rent with that. We really have to target auto this week. I agree with him, however, there are very few people that just get quotes and switch car insurance within a couple days. People switch at renewal unless you save them loads of money, or switch when their next payment is due. Another catch, we have to have the policies bound by the 27th in order to receive the commission by the 5th. So I call and text and facebook market, etc. AND I pray. I pray that God will either help me make a lot of money at my second job or bring my policies in order to pay my bills! I prayed for our company (something I do not do enough of, because I think I got it...) and Lawton....
And now today is Friday, the 27th. By the end of the day, I will have written 5 new policies this week- that alone will beyond cover my rent and utilities. How cool is that!?
Lawton's mother, who happens to be a an amazingly wise Christian woman, someone I look up to and receive MUCH advice from, always tells me to pray expectantly. This is a hard concept for me... but I am learning. The Lord is teaching me.... always teaching me- and I will continue to learn and learn and re-learn and re-learn. I love when God answers my prayers so specifically and I get to share these amazing experiences with my non-believing friends... God is so good.
"I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes."
Psalm 17:6-7
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Quarter-Life Crisis.
So its clearly been awhile. I'm in a place where I don't really know what else to do but pray, write, analyze and talk about myself (typical).
I'm not even twenty-three and I think I am having a quarter-life crisis. Which makes sense, because I was always an early-bloomer. I shaved my legs before any of my girlfriends. I kissed a boy before any of my friends. I was the first of my friends to have a long, serious relationship. I started a business while all my friends were graduating college...
So I guess it makes sense for me to have a quarter-life crisis before my quarter-life. I'm not quite sure exactly when it happened, but I was driving home from West Palm Beach on Friday and just kind of thinking about life. My mind works so darn fast, so I got some 5 hour analyzing into a 2.5 hour drive. I cried more tears on Friday than I have in a long time. Probably since I found out Lawton was hurt. I just cried and cried and cried. There were multiple things triggering the tears and but all in all, I kept thinking about work and what I am doing to glorify God.
I am an insurance agent. I provide a service to people, to help educate consumers about what they are forced to purchase, ease the process of shopping, and save people money. I have analyzed my job before to see what type of missionary I am... and I think I can glorify God in doing this. But this thought keeps popping into my head and here is where I get confused and therefore antsy. I keep thinking, I have a heart for children, I have felt convicted so often about children in orphanages that don't have food or clean water or are being sold into a life of slavery or prostitution. I am not doing anything about this. Am I being disobedient? Then, I beat myself up over it, and then I wonder, is the devil accusing me? Or is the Holy Spirit convicting me?
I can't just put in my 2 week notice and pick up and move to Cambodia. I have a business (even if I didn't, I still doubt I could just move). I have clients that I have helped, that rely on me for their needs. I have openly (and stupidly) said, "I am so thankful that I had my business before I came back to Christ, so I didn't search through Him and wait for Him to tell me what to do." That line plays over and over in my head- Alicia! You idiot! Why wouldn't you want His plan!?! It's far greater than yours! I marvel in the way people can just pick up and move and follow God's calling. "I am so close to my family, I could never do that", I have said... I know that God isn't here to trick us or to make me eat my words. But I also know that God does test us. I just haven't quite figured out what the test is.
It probably is a test of faith... about going to God with my problems. I miss that so often in my walk. I try to figure it out all on my own.
"Are you the first man ever born?
Were you brought forth before the hills?
Do you listen in on God's council?
Do you limit wisdom to yourself?
What do you know that we do not know?
What insights do you have that we do not have?" Job 15:7-9
The book of Job has taught me so much about thinking I am in control and can do things on my own. Obviously, I am still learning to put it in play. Who do I think I am?!
I'm not even twenty-three and I think I am having a quarter-life crisis. Which makes sense, because I was always an early-bloomer. I shaved my legs before any of my girlfriends. I kissed a boy before any of my friends. I was the first of my friends to have a long, serious relationship. I started a business while all my friends were graduating college...
So I guess it makes sense for me to have a quarter-life crisis before my quarter-life. I'm not quite sure exactly when it happened, but I was driving home from West Palm Beach on Friday and just kind of thinking about life. My mind works so darn fast, so I got some 5 hour analyzing into a 2.5 hour drive. I cried more tears on Friday than I have in a long time. Probably since I found out Lawton was hurt. I just cried and cried and cried. There were multiple things triggering the tears and but all in all, I kept thinking about work and what I am doing to glorify God.
I am an insurance agent. I provide a service to people, to help educate consumers about what they are forced to purchase, ease the process of shopping, and save people money. I have analyzed my job before to see what type of missionary I am... and I think I can glorify God in doing this. But this thought keeps popping into my head and here is where I get confused and therefore antsy. I keep thinking, I have a heart for children, I have felt convicted so often about children in orphanages that don't have food or clean water or are being sold into a life of slavery or prostitution. I am not doing anything about this. Am I being disobedient? Then, I beat myself up over it, and then I wonder, is the devil accusing me? Or is the Holy Spirit convicting me?
I can't just put in my 2 week notice and pick up and move to Cambodia. I have a business (even if I didn't, I still doubt I could just move). I have clients that I have helped, that rely on me for their needs. I have openly (and stupidly) said, "I am so thankful that I had my business before I came back to Christ, so I didn't search through Him and wait for Him to tell me what to do." That line plays over and over in my head- Alicia! You idiot! Why wouldn't you want His plan!?! It's far greater than yours! I marvel in the way people can just pick up and move and follow God's calling. "I am so close to my family, I could never do that", I have said... I know that God isn't here to trick us or to make me eat my words. But I also know that God does test us. I just haven't quite figured out what the test is.
It probably is a test of faith... about going to God with my problems. I miss that so often in my walk. I try to figure it out all on my own.
"Are you the first man ever born?
Were you brought forth before the hills?
Do you listen in on God's council?
Do you limit wisdom to yourself?
What do you know that we do not know?
What insights do you have that we do not have?" Job 15:7-9
The book of Job has taught me so much about thinking I am in control and can do things on my own. Obviously, I am still learning to put it in play. Who do I think I am?!
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