Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Lawton and I got into a fight today. Or more accurately, I got extremely pissed off at Lawton today.

Brief history about Lawton and me: we met when we worked together a week before he moved to Denver. We had instant ‘chemistry’ (for lack of a better word)… or the ability to relate and get along so well. We stayed friends for two years while he lived across the country. Now, we have had feelings for each other (so strong that I actually broke up with Mike-one of the many times- because I had such strong feelings for someone that wasn’t my boyfriend and felt wrong about being with Mike) but they have developed into a strong friendship. A platonic friendship that has worked its way into a business partnership. And a business partnership that has worked its way into a marriage. We bicker about the dumbest things, but balance each other out so well. He has truly talked me through some difficult ‘life things’, and I can only hope I have done the same for him. And somehow it all works. So, as my business partner, he restrains me from making irrational decisions, and I keep him on a focused, organized path. And as friends, we are so completely honest that we can very easily hurt the others’ feelings, yet have a blast hanging out and very well making fun of the other for those issues we are so honest about.

Lawton and I got a Verizon phone plan together in order to simplify our business expenses, communication and expedience in which he received a Florida telephone (when he was moving from Denver). He picked out the Blackberry Pearl so he could receive his emails, text easily, etc, and I order it, set up the plan, get the phone to him and help him with the Blackberry set up. Well, apparently the part the holds the battery to his phone clicks. It like isn’t completely intact and therefore annoys the hell out of him. Neurotic as it is, when you spend $250 on a piece of electronic equipment, you expect to be satisfied. And satisfied he is not. So, I tell him I will call Verizon to try and remedy the situation. I tell dear Linda of the issue and after 10 minutes of discussion and holding, she informs that I must go to a Verizon retailer to verify there is an issue with the phone and “they will know what to do from there.” There is a Verizon store across from our office, so after lunch, I suggest we stop in there… again, to alleviate HIS problem that I am so graciously handling. We go into Verizon and dealt with a pleasant girl that was just diagnosed with cancer, broke her pinky toe, lost her cheating husband to her mother and had a chip on her shoulder bigger than Mt. Everest. Needless to say, she was pleased to make us her “number one priority.” She opened another Pearl which did the same thing, we tried a different back and Lawton was still not satisfied. So, Katie decides to call Verizon and ‘verify’ our issue to try to get him a new phone, regardless of whether or not she feels there is a problem. Perhaps she dealt with Linda as well, and after a long period of holding and ‘research’, hung up the phone. During this 45 minute period, I am waiting and the counter and Lawton is playing with other phones and looking around the store. For the moment Lawton was at the counter, seeing my frustration, he has the nerve to say, “Well you ordered it!” (“Yes please, can I have the refurbished one with the malfunctioning back? I mean, if you’re out of those, I will just be put on the waiting list…”) Katie then tells us she will give Lawton a new back, we try yet another back on, and it still clicks. I’m irritated. Lawton is irritated. Katie just plain hates life and therefore is extremely irritated. She tells him “it’s just the way it fits”, so which Lawton so kindly (sarcasm) rebuts, “you mean the way is DOESN’T fit?!” To this I am not only irritated, but embarrassed. So Katie tells Lawton he can exchange the phone for another if he brings in the box and the charger and all the accessories. Obviously, no more can be done right here or right now. So I thank Katie for her patience and attempt as assisting and we exit. Lawton then proceeds to say, “Well that was a great idea.”
Ugh- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!
I respond, “What?” And he says it was a great idea to stop at the retailer. Like I thought it up and promised him a resolution to HIS problem. I am furious. I yell at him in the parking lot about how I am going out of my way to help him with his neuroticism, handle everything and he shows his appreciation with a lack of respect and continuance of blame towards me?!? I sit in the car, fold my arms and refuse to speak to him… at this point; he could probably see smoke out of my nostrils as I exhaled. We get back to the office and he keeps asking me if I am okay, if something is wrong and if I am mad at him. I tell him I am mad and that I want to finish working and go home. So I finish working, he sits there as I do not include him or even allow any of his effort toward my task and get up to leave. He’s talking to me in the parking lot about tomorrow and I am short with him and cut him off by getting in my car. He calls me on the way home to find out what is going on with me.
Now, I don’t know if it is a woman thing, pride thing or a man thing- the way all of this went down. I do know that it is very stereotypical; guy makes comment, girl gets pissed, girl refuses to talk to guy and continues to tell him she’s ‘fine’. So he calls and asks what my problem is… and I tell him. I tell him that his lack of respect is unacceptable and that I was only trying to help him and furthermore, his lack of appreciation and recognition for my efforts are exhausting. He then tells me he was joking and that he thought I ‘knew him better than that’. I explain to him that he was pissed at the Verizon clerk, then snaps as me and I am supposed to know that flipped the switch from pissed to joking?!?! Really? So he explains that we are both under a lot of pressure, we want to get this business started and we will be fine once we start working and making money. I tell him I’m done talking about it and get off the phone.
Tonight, I get this email:

Hey,

I'm sorry for the way I talk to you sometimes. I honestly do forget, since we are such good friends, how it can come across when in a professional setting. I promise to stop doing that, immediately! I know we're both anxious to begin. That is an understatement. It really has come together quickly when you think about it. I just think we're so excited and ready for it to begin that we lose patience. I do appreciate all that you do and have done, and I need to let you know that more often.

I believe so strongly in what this can be Alicia. I am absolutely confident in both of our abilities to make this a great success. It is ours. It may not be much now, but when we sit down a year from now, it will be with a steadily growing book of business, and a company that is on the way to becoming financially strong. Security will come. It will happen. I couldn't think of one person I would rather be involved with. I truly mean that. Ttyl.

Lawton

I joke with him about how I “don’t know if I can do this”, working with him everyday and dealing with him as my friend and business partner. We get frustrated with each other, but we still deal- simply for the fact that we have such aspirations for our business and the others’ ability to balance it out and make it all work in the end. I was a bit surprised by his email, but nevertheless satisfied. It really proved that no matter how much he pisses me off, this really can work. I know I’ve mentioned balance a hundred times already, but it’s really what we do. And regardless of how much PMS-ing, bitchiness or moodiness he deals with, he’s still there for me and willing to apologize. I am well aware that I probably overreacted but yelling at him and refusing to speak to him, but at least he admitted fault for the initiation of it. Not to mention he didn’t give up. He called me after we left and then wrote me an email when he got home. His persistence is refreshing… and since I consider it a work-marriage, I am encouraged by the fact that he would go to lengths to settle the issue. I will never understand him, and he will never understand me; but we collectively, we understand that.