Be strong and courageous...

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

Russia has been on my heart... since before I went to Haiti.

There is a group from my church that visits Nalchik, Russia twice a year. They speak at a business school to young Russians who want to learn the American way of business. It is an incognito type of mission trip that doesn't preach the Gospel unless really approached.

I was initially interested in going when Josh had emailed a bunch of girls about going this past Spring- I mentioned it to Jennifer who was going and tried to get me to go but I didn't have my passport and then couldn't get my visa in time. I sat with Pam in her living room days before I left for Haiti expressing my interest and receiving her encouragement. I talked with April about it and we prayed for my God-sized vision...

After coming back from Haiti, I mentioned it to my women's Crew and Lynn suggested the upcoming trip in October. (I hesitated and said I probably couldn't afford it...) I told Jennifer, again, that I was interested and she jumped on the idea! I consulted my sister- hoping she would not allow it! I made excuses about the date not working (missing a wedding to shoot, missing Maria's birthday, and it being only a few months after these other summer trips). Jennifer emailed me about a week ago and I responded with... I'll pray about it.

But in my heart, I know God told me to go. He showed me the people of Haiti... the people of New York and worked within my heart. That, along with amazing teachers in my life, made it so clear what the Lord's call of my life is... and my responsibility to live it out.

I asked Lynn to come over early last night to talk to me about Russia... the activities and just see if she had some sort of wisdom to offer me... She answered my loads of questions and then asked what my fears were. I replied,

1. Finances...raising support to pay for the trip. I thoroughly do not enjoy asking for money... but the Lord is humbling me in this.

2. Skepticism and gossip...this has been made clear to my partner, Lawton. I was worried what others and even clients would think knowing that I was on my third "vacation" in 5 months.

3. Safety...apparently, Lynn read (and shared) awhile back the in the southern area of Russia, North American women have frequently been kidnapped. The area is mainly Muslim and not reached for the name of Christ and therefore we could get in trouble for speaking about Jesus...I cannot tell people that I am there as a missionary.

Lynn made great points. She told me that God would not pull through with finances if He didn't want me to go...reminded me of the way He came through and taught me a powerful lesson with Haiti. She insisted that I should not care or worry what others think... as long as I am working hard in my responsibilities at work and focus on what God thinks of my work. She continues to tell me that she "doesn't feel danger" when she is there (right, Lynn, that's reassuring). She asks most importantly, did God tell you to go? I respond boldly, He did. ...but maybe I could wait for the next go around? She asks me my favorite Blackaby phrase... Delayed obedience is what, Alicia?

Disobedience.

So I tell her I'll keep praying about it. And I pray, and I pray for clarity and wisdom, that God would make it so unmistakeably clear to me.

This morning, I read my devotional, God Calling, and today, July 14 it is written:

'True Success' (Which is funny in itself if you know me, because thats what I think is really what I want out of life.)

Rejoice indeed that you see My Hand in all the happenings and the keepings of the day. Protected, the Israelites crossed the Red Sea; so are you protected in all things.
Rely on this and go forward. You have now entered upon the stage of success. You must not doubt this. You must see this. Beyong all doubt you must know it. It is true. It is sure.
These last few weeks have been the submerging before the consciousness of rescue. Go forward now and conquer. Go forward unafraid.

-----

Okay, I got it... finally.
So, trusting in the Lord wholly, I am being obedient and moving forward with the trip to Russia, October 16-25. Please pray that God would prepare me for this trip- my heart and the plans to be made. Pray for the fears that I have... that I would continue to trust in the Lord with all my heart... and that I would be strong against any attack that may surface. Pray that the hearts of Russia would be open and eager to learn about what makes us 'different'. Please pray for all those who may read this, that they may see just a glimpse of how intimate Jesus Christ can be... and that they long for that relationship too. Above all else, pray that God be glorified through this entire process. Thank you in advance for your prayers and support... I hope that you find this note an encouragement.