A relational God.

I try to explain to my non-believing friends about how God speaks to me. I am sure it doesn't always come out clear and/or makes me look crazy. However, I have become totally content with the crazy card. I find refuge in these little sufferings for the Lord.

Here is another attempt at explaining a way that God spoke to me today:

A friend of mine / partner-if you will, recently called me out on a subject I was unaware she still had issues on. She did this not so tactfully and in front of other people. Other people that we are to lead, disciple and facilitate to... Obviously I was offended but wasn't going to make a fuss about it at that moment. I thought about mentioning something to her the next day and it kind of left my mind. After another week, she confronts my sincerity in an invite I had extended to her. [Because I am uber-sensitive] I am offended, but begin to search my heart. I realize that my pent up anger / hurt feelings must have been conveyed within my invitation.

Then, I do what I do best when a problem arises. I ask Renee for advice. But I kind of told her not to answer me... and that I really need to pray about it. Do I confront her and bring it all up again- mind you it was a minute comment she made and is probably very unaware of it- or do I just let it go- with hopes that it doesn't come back up again? I journaled about it last night and prayed for humility, a softened heart and the words to speak if that was His will.
This morning I got up and had my favorite time of the day- coffee and quiet time. I was reading in James (can't get outta this book!) 2 and it referenced a verse in Leviticus (19:18). So I start reading along in Leviticus, and suddenly, 19:17 jumps out at me:

"Do not hate your brother [/sister] in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt."

(And seriously, who reads Leviticus??)

Now, I understand this may not be as clear for everyone else as I read this, but when God speaks to you through scripture, something about those words just jump out at you... you recognize them, they convict you- tug at your heart, and they give you peace. I read this and my instruction was clear. I would like to clarify that I do not hate this sister of mine... but I do know that anger can grow within me and turn into hate. The truth is, she did something wrong- it hurt me, and I never even gave her the opportunity to make it right. God has made it clear to me what I should do and I will obey immediately.

Dear Lord, thank you for speaking to me this morning and answering my prayers so expediently. I continue to pray for humility as I speak to her. I pray that you would soften my heart as to not attack her, but to rebuke her and above all else to speak to her out of love. I am so thankful for your direction and I pray that you lead me and bless me throughout my day, allow me to be an example of your love and to glorify you in all that I do.