Dear Staff

(my first all staff e-mail regarding new Accurate Insurance Agency regulations)

Dear Staff,

If you (man) come to the office without shaving your face, that gives me the idea that you probably showered and got dressed and came to work. If I (woman) took a shower, got dressed and came to work, I would have wet hair in a bun and no makeup on. Therefore, if it is 'acceptable' for you to come in like that, is it acceptable for me to come in without makeup and with wet hair?

I understand you don't like to shave. I don't like to spend 30 minutes blow drying and straightening my hair. I don't like spending 10 minutes on makeup (not to mention the thousands of dollars I spend...).

You think a three day beard looks sexy. You. are. not. Patrick. Dempsey. It looks sloppy and horrible with your nice button down shirt, pin-striped slacks or slightly homosexual square toed dress shoes.

Also, if you are too lazy to shave your face, you are probably too lazy to be a good insurance agent. (Which isn't the case, but is what I would think if you were trying to sell me something.)

Please wake up and realize this is unacceptable. Just as it would be unacceptable for me to come in straight out the shower.

Best Regards,

Management